


Is this it

by harrybless



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, au! where louis is a druggie/sex addict, eleanor fixes him and then harry steals him away sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-11-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 18:49:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrybless/pseuds/harrybless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis use to sleep around a lot, only living to party. He’s better now. He’s got a girlfriend and everything. But his mind keeps wondering back to that night with the boy with green eyes and tattoos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic im sorry if its awful and hard to follow!

His pounding headache was the indication of Louis getting too fucked up the night before. The empty bed (besides himself) was also another indication of him yet again, making a stupid mistake. All he could remember was a tall lanky body filling him with his desire and then a peaceful aftermath of drunken-tiredness (if that wasn’t clichéd enough).

He wasn’t upset that his lay of the night didn’t wait for him to wake up in the morning, he was more relieved. He hated the face to face contact during the morning-afters. In all of the mornings, this one has seemed to be the best. The flat wasn’t shit; it was warm and cozy, but not too home-y. It was lived in. Just like Louis liked it. He liked old, lived in things. The last lay he had, he found himself downtown in the bad part of town with a massive headache and a girl who that they were in love. He even had to get Zayn to come along and fake a story about being his boyfriend, and how they were in an “open relationship” to get out of that one.

It was strange; Louis wasn’t use to staying “after hours.” Usually he leaves right after the job is done and goes on with his night. But the last week had been long and hard so he must have just passed out after their hard exercise.

He makes his way around the empty bedroom finding pieces of his clothing, and when he is done getting dressed and is ready to walk out the door he notices a note on the taped on the closed bedroom door.

‘ _had fun last night. Went to work. Have some brekkie, should have some shit in the cabinets in the kitchen. You were a great lay, if ya want more ever call me.’_ ~~The last bit read numbers Louis would soon have memorized at the palm of his hand in four months time.~~

He puts the note in his pocket making a mental note to put it in the bin later.

Now, Louis would never admit it to anyone who asked, but he did scrounge in the cabinet and found some granola that would suffice as a small breakfast.

A he makes his way back to his flat he searches through his pockets (ignoring the note), and finds what he was looking for: A spliff and a lighter. He lights it and takes a breath, immediately feeling the effects. Continuing down the block he realizes that he was downtown, about five blocks away from his own flat with Zayn. Usually he had to call Zayn up for a ride if he ever stayed the night. He hated wasting perfectly good spending money on a taxi, and he was way too out of shape to actually walk far to get home.

When he finally gets his way into the two bedroom flat and no one is home. Just him and his lonesome as per usual.

He pulls out the note from the boy from the night before and tucks it into a drawer for safe keeping. Ignoring the little voice in his head reminding him to throw it out.

He didn’t even realize he was asleep until Zayn came in and woke him up by screaming at him to pay rent. (Even though he knows that probably won’t happen since he lost his job last Monday).

“Mate, I know you just lost your job and shit but I really can’t deal with this right now. You know that I have to pay for UNI, plus all my art shit. I don’t, no I _can’t,_ afford your stupid ass!”

“Zayn ‘ts alright! See, my mate Charlie’s got this gig with you know sellin good shit on the streets as a sider. So I was gonna ask if he could add another until I found a real job you know.”

The first look on Zayn’s face was full of worry. Louis could tell he was arguing with himself in his head. But Zayn muttered a “ ‘ts fine mate.  Just try to pull your weight. But don’t get into that shit too much. Trust me been there done that.”

It was true. When Louis met him back when they were both at UNI for their freshmen year(before Louis dropped out sophomore year), Zayn had just gotten out of this bad thing with some druggies. He didn’t know the full story but he got the gist that Zayn was basically robbed by these coke heads, and that was the final straw for Zayn. His leader or whatever took all of his money he earned that night when Zayn said he was done and that was the end of that.

To be honest Louis was glad Zayn didn’t get shot in the by the drug guy or something because he would probably be living under a bridge right about now.

“So, Lou, mate,” Zayn says with a smirk on his face, “what were you up to last night?”

“The usual,” Louis grumbles. Ignoring the reminder of the note hidden in his drawer.

“You know, you’ve really gotta stop leaving me in the dust at clubs because you’re my wing man mate!  And you know you’re the best at telling the birds I’m a great lay!”

“That’s because it’s the truth babes.” Louis replies looking straight into his eyes, then made a quick glance to Zayn’s groin.

Zayn was grinning, not taken aback. He was use to this, the flirting. But to be honest it wasn’t even called flirting, it was more taking what was Louis’ because Zayn has been Louis’ since they met all of those nights ago. It basically happened almost every day they’ve lived together. It was only worse when they were drunk and alone. Because most of the time when they’re drunk Zayn doesn’t have the power to deny him.

It was how they met, Zayn and Lou. They fucked at a frat party and became friends afterward figuring that dating wouldn’t ever be their thing. It was a time before Louis began to go on his binges of sleeping around when he felt like shit. (Which was almost every night now). It was when Louis was himself and happy. He was thesun to his life and their other pals that eventually left because Louis wasn’t the sun anymore. He was the clouds that would roll in everyday past 3 and would rain and rain. Except Louis doesn’t even cry anymore. He fucks away his feelings. Which to be honest, is the least of Zayn’s worries.

Recently, Louis has taken up with befriending people from bad crowds. He was beginning to hang with the likes of drug dealers only because they like to give him some sort of discount since he’s such a pretty face and they want to keep him around.

“ _Zayn,”_ Louis begins to whine. Louis just wants more release. He hasn’t really found what he was looking for so he just uses sex in place of it.

“Just this once Zayn, and then I’ll stop I promise. Just please. I… please… I just…”

“I know babes.” And then Zayn kissed him. It was the after that Zayn really craved. Louis came back, the Louis he use to know, he did it only to see him again.

Sex did that for Lou, it made him feel less broken. But truthfully, it was just another bandaid that would eventually fall off.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to note that some time has past between zayn and louis from the 1st chapter if you couldnt notice!

Lips pressed against his neck, with a hand pumping his cock. All Louis could do was sit there and enjoy the moment before he blurted the news

“Zayn”

“hmm,” zayn murmers biting into Louis’ neck.

“Zayn. I need to tell you something.”

“mhmmm” still nipping at his neck marking him, which was probably going to be a bitch to hide later that night.

“Zayn I got meself a girl.”

Zayn automatically sat up up with such a shock and removed himself from Louis. 

“Well, who is it?” Zayn probed with a sort of reservation in his voice. Probably from shock, that well, Louis? A girlfriend? More the part where she was an actual girl than anything. Not that either of them really wanted to discuss their sexualities when they could be fucking their brains out.

Louis could understand Zayn’s sudden shock. Because honestly who would be able to handle his shit besides Zayn? 

“ ‘r names El, well Eleanor. Sweet girl really, I think she might be helping me? Not sure. We aren’t official or whatever, really, but I think… well I think that she’s helping me. A lot, Zayn”

Zayn was beginning to get up. He got his shirt that was thrown on the floor earlier and put it on.

“Well, if you’ve got a girl now are you sure you wanna keep doing this? I mean I don’t care because, well, its sex, but if you really want to get better or whatever… Should we stop?”

Louis thought for a second. He knew the answer that he needed to choose, for El’s sake, but he couldn’t just stop with Zayn. He needed the release that Zayn gave him whenever they had sex, he felt as though Zayn could only give that to him. But it was totally unfair to Eleanor… Which he knew, obviously. He just didn’t exactly want to end things right away.

“Yes,” Louis says quietly with a sigh, and sadness in his tone. He didn’t exactly know why he was sad really, he just knew that something that actually worked in his life was over and he didn’t know how to go around it without it being awkward with his best mate. But it was never awkward in the first place, so why should it be now? And why does it feel like a fucking breakup, rather than a “friends with benefits,” subtracting the benefit part?

The thought was pushed back into his mind as he felt lips nipping at his neck again, and a familiar sensation he’s felt all those times before. 

Because, well, it’s Zayn, his best mate, who he’s been hooking up with on and off again for the past however many amount of years before, and even after things went to the crapper.

He pushes Zayn away, he couldn’t do it anymore, not for his own sake, he knew that now.  
Zayn looked at him in shock. 

“You’re serious then? You’re done with this now? After all this, one girl, and we’re done? This…” His hands were waving between himself and Louis, “whatever, this was, is…” he pauses and begins to speak quietly, sad almost, “we’re over?” 

Zayn was looking at him with those eyes that he’s always had. It’s those kind of eyes that always got what they wanted, which was abnormal for Louis because he never noticed Zayn wanting him this way, whatever way it actually was.  
Louis is looking at the ground not really sure what to do because what Zayn was doing wasn’t really like him at all, he seemed upset about it. This was what was so strange about the whole ordeal. But maybe it wasn’t. Something in the back of his mind knew all along, but he didn’t want to think about it ever.

He knew in his gut that what he was about to say would probably ruin everything between him and Zayn, but he couldn’t do this to El. For god’s sake, he was finally becoming free, free from the shitty thoughts, and the need for things to be so intense all the time. Sure, he wasn’t fixed, since he was about to have sex with Zayn again, but he knew in his…well…heart, that he cared about her, and he couldn’t do whatever he had with Zayn anymore.

He begins still looking to the ground, and not at Zayn, “we couldn’t really be ‘over,’ if we never really started anything to begin with.”  
In the back of his mind, Louis knew this would kill Zayn, though they never discussed it, he knew that Zayn really cared about him and not in the way that Louis wanted, he didn’t want that feeling from Zayn. He was his best mate, and it was too much.  
Zayn was just staring right at Louis, but he was too concentrated in the dark brown wood floor paneling to even look into Zayn’s eyes. It was sort of like he knew that if he did look at him, he would fall right back into him. He would fuck things up with El, and he would never fix himself. He needed to do this, for him of course. Even if it hurt the one person he truly did care about, (other than Eleanor of course).

Louis looks up, keeping his eye contact away from Zayn, “I’ll pick up my stuff tomorrow, I’ll be out of your hair, you get what you want.”  
Zayn begins to plea to Louis in protest, because it’s not what he wants, and Louis knows that. He grabs at Louis arm and trying to bring him into a kiss, murmuring over and over that he wanted him to stay the night, just the night before everything changed. But Louis couldn’t do it. He pushed Zayn off and started for the door.

He kept trying to ignore the pleas, before when he finally had the door open he heard the worst thing that could have ever come out of Zayn’s mouth at the moment. 

A quiet, and defeated, “but I love you, Lou.”  
Louis looked at Zayn’s watering eyes from across the room and said, “It wouldn’t have worked anyway because I can’t do that with you.”  
With that Louis rushed out the door leaving Zayn in a daze of confusion and loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! so i'm sorry that i haven't posted in like 5 months. there probably is a different sound to the style of writing, i'm sorry if it is any different than you expect. DONT WORRY ABOUT THE h/l pairing (or that zayn loves louis) all of that will go away soon. DONT WORRY. i have a lot of things planned ok! i've already started the 3rd part/chapter, and the LATEST it will be up is maybe next weekend, and the earliest is this weekend! ok i hope you enjoyed the chapter!  
> this is very short, and i'm thinking so are most of the other chapters, i apologize if you dont like that.
> 
> please follow me on tumblr at: ewwharry.tumblr.com  
> have a great day!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! follow me on tumblr: harrybless.tumblr.com


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